Thursday, September 15, 2016

Confessions

To quote Usher, these are my confessions:

·      I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder in 2003.
·      I was on Lexapro for 13 years before it finally dropped me.
·      I am currently on Viibryd for both GAD and Depression.
·      Turns out I had Depression all along, but the voices of GAD were louder.
·      My Anxiety is a noun, not a verb.
·      Anxiety is a living, breathing part of me.
·      I feel sorry for those who love me, because they didn’t sign up for this.
·      I fear for my kids because they see me crack.
·      I apologize, but seeing your mom crying in the fetal position in her bed is scar-worthy material.
·      I will pay for their therapy.
·      I currently exhaust my HSA to pay for my own therapy.
·      I inappropriately think of my therapist as my friend because she understands.
·      I had a panic attack in therapy today.
·      It is the first time anyone has seen it besides my husband (and random people outside of my car window).
·      It was embarrassing.
·      I took Valium.
·      Actually 2.
·      Then I went back to work because I am “functional.”
·      Being able to “function” feels like a lie 99% of the time.
·      I hate having all the feelings.
·      I hate that- for me- Emotional Thought > Rational Thought.
·      Sharing my story is easy.
·      Living in my brain is hard.